Could we live happily
ever after ? Perhaps. One's
interest in the genetically pre-programmed states of
sublimity sketched in "The
Hedonistic Imperative" is
tempered by the knowledge that one is unlikely to be
around to enjoy them.
There's clearly a strong causal
link between the raw biological capacity to experience
happiness and the extent to which one's life is felt to
be worthwhile. High-minded philosophy treatises should
complicate but not confuse the primacy of the
pleasure-pain axis. So one very practical method of
life-enrichment consists in chemically engineering
happier brains for all in the here-and-now. Yet how can
this best be done ? Try
Oscitax !
Make sure that you have
the right tablet. Beware of
imitations.
The tablet is orange,
oblong and quite difficult to swallow without
gaping widely.
Pack
size
This pack contains only 1
tablet because OSCITAX is so potent, specific
and long acting that one tablet is more than
sufficient for lifelong yawning.
Contents
The effective substance
is oscitocine®. Every tablet is brim-full of
oscitocine®. As excipients were used: E460,
polyethylene glycol, E464, E171, E172. Does not
contain sugar or gluten, does contain
lactose.
Uses / Actlons
Oscitocine®
belongs to the group of yawn inducers - yawn
inhibitors
(to be frank, it is the
only member of this group). How exactly
oscitocine® works nobody knows, but that
goes for a great number of medicines
(in many cases the words
of Voltaire still apply : "Les
médecins administrent des
médicaments dont ils savent très
peu, à des malades dont ils savent moins,
pour guérir des maladies dont ils ne
savent rien").
Registration
You will not find this
medicine in any register. You may count yourself
lucky to be able to test this experimental
substance.
Indications
OSCITAX® is indicated
for people who
- at unexpected and
socially awkward moments get an irresistible
urge to yawn
- at the right moments
cannot yawn.
Contraindicatlons
You do not need this
medicine if you can yawn spontaneously at the
right moments and can repress your urge to yawn
at socially awkward moments.
Dosage and
administration
As I remarked before, one
tablet is sufficient for the rest of your
life.
The sooner you take the
tablet the better. Swallow the tablet with a
considerable quantity of uplifting
fluid.
Use during pregnancy
and lactation
OSCITAX® can be used
without restriction during pregnancy and
lactation.
Effects on ability to
drive and use machines
The use of OSCITAX®
can - initially - considerably influence the
ability to drive and use machines.
Adverse
effects
This is tricky : during
the first few days after taking the tablet you
may experience an irresistible urge to yawn.
This appears to occur especially when in
unsympathetic company but also - paradoxically -
when in very sympathetic company. If you,
aftertaken the tablet, do not yawn for at least
14days you may contact the fresh doctor i.e.,
inventor of this medicine.
Interactions
Some medicines can
influence each other's effectivity - they
potentiate or debilitate each other, or, for
some other reason, they may not be taken
simultaneously. Medicines that are known to
influence the effectivity of OSCITAX® or
wich OSCITAX® can influence are:
sildenafil (Viagra): very
strange (chaotic) effects can occur
SSRIs (a group of
antidepressant drugs)
clomipramine (a triyclic
antidepressant drug)
barbiturates (sleep- and
relaxation medicines or
hypnosedatives)
Overdosage
Overdose of OSCITAX®
has not been established: it is impossible to
take an overdose.
Special precautions
for storage and Shelf-life
OSCITAX® is not for
storing but for using. Why would you shelve your
OSCI TAX® tablet?
Medicine
classification
Under-the-counter
medicine.
OSCITAX® and
oscitocine® are unregistered trademarks of
W. Seuntjens-Yawn Research and Yawn Technology
Ltd (in pleasant cooperation with Roche Products
Ltd.).
This
dissertation and the research it is based upon
were not sponsored in any way by pharmaceutical
companies.
Pourrions nous
connaître, en permanence, la
plus radieuse des
félicités
? Pourquoi pas. L'intérêt
porté au système de
récompense, tel qu'il est esquissé
dans "La
Tyrannie Hédoniste",
indique que son existence biologique doit plus
aux nécessités de la survie que
pour simplement en jouir.
Il existe manifestement
un puissant lien de causalité entre la
capacité biologique naturelle à
éprouver du plaisir et la capacité
d'un être à ressentir la vie comme
valant d'être vécue.
Les traités
philosophiques de haute tenue tendent à
obscurcir cette réflexion mais ne nient
pas la primauté dans la balance
existentielle du couple plaisir - douleur. De
là viendrait la tentation de recourir
à une stimulation pharmacologique licite
ou illicite afin d'éprouver un plaisir
permanent, pour tous et constamment. Est ce
réaliste dès maintenant?
Essayez
Oscitax !
Son principe actif est
l'Oscitocine®
qui appartient à la famille des
inducteurs / suppresseurs des
bâillements
(pour être franc, c'est le seul
représentant de cette famille). Comment
agit l'Oscitocine® ? soyons honnête,
personne ne sait, mais tel est le lot d'un grand
nombre de thérapeutiques !
Voltaire ne disait-il pas
: "Les médecins administrent des
médicaments dont ils savent très
peu, à des malades dont ils savent moins,
pour guérir des maladies dont ils ne
savent rien".
